(Para la versión en castellano, pinche aquí).
Short of a day for my first month without social drinking, the matter that friends play in your relationship with alcohol is playing in my mind.
I found that when I started voicing my concerns to my close friends about having a problem with alcochol, their reactions were in the region of:
- sure, you are only small; of course you are going to get drunk faster than the rest of us
- you just need to learn what your limit is
- we all have been there, don't worry to much about it
- you weren't that bad, honestly
- don't worry, we will look after you if you get (too) drunk
And one of my all favourites, if you annouce you don't want to drink on a certain situation, they'd be like:
- don't make me drink on my own!
(talk about peer pressure!)
The red flag for me was:
- you are really funny when you are drunk
I had been told that before, but this time around it was not only the words but the tone they were said and the frequency they said them to me. When I got fed up with it, I enquired:
- what exactly do I do when I'm drunk that it's so funny?
The only answer I got was a smirk. Go figure!
I'm sorry to say, but if these are the answer you are getting, run a mile from these people.
Now I see that a true friend should have responded something in the lines of:
- what makes you say that?
- or even: despite of not thinking you have a drinking problem, how can I help?
In my humble opinion, these are honest, supportive reactions. The former ones only mask the fact that it suits them that you keep on drinking. The reasons for it probably will make for another post.
Like I said before if your friends are pushing you to drink, they are not your friends. Or for that matter, if they don't support you cutting down or giving it up drinking (whatever you choose to do), they are not the right friends for you at this point in your life. End of.
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